I’ve always liked science fiction. I can’t explain why. I just do. When I was a boy I’d go to the library and bring home yellow-jacket Gollancz science fiction books to read. When I was a teenager I’d buy paperbacks from the bookshops. I have about a thousand science fiction books on the shelves in our back room. We call it “the library”, but there’s also an electric piano, a sofa, and a seventy-inch TV.
It’s my favourite place for watching movies. I don’t go to the cinema much these days because all too often the picture is dim. On top of that, there are too many sequels for my liking. Seen the latest Star Wars movie? Me neither. I think it’s been downhill all the way since Disney got their woke broke child-groomer hands on it. Now “the franchise” is dying a death from a terminal case of sequelitis. I wonder if George Lucas regrets selling up? He was instrumental in the creation of the blockbuster science fiction movie, which is my favourite category. I like other movies too. Not horror, and not crime, but action, fantasy, comedy, et cetera. I have catholic tastes, small c. Talking of which, I like chick flicks more than the wife. It isn’t the wife blubbing at the end of Notting Hill and Jerry McGuire, it’s me.
It’s the blockbusters I like best
But it’s the science fiction blockbusters I like best. Plus some that should have been blockbusters, but were not. Or vice-versa. For example Star Wars was a surprise hit in 1977. It was followed by Alien in 1979, then ET in 1982. Both were blockbusters. The Terminator in 1984 wasn’t a blockbuster, but like Star Wars, it grew into one. Hence after movies such as Lifeforce (1985), Aliens (1986), and Predator (1987), we all watched big-budget Terminator 2 in 1991. Then we had Jurassic Park in 1993, Stargate in 1994, and Species in 1995. Followed by Independence Day in 1996, Starship Troopers in 1997, Armageddon in 1998, and Galaxy Quest in 1999. Happy days. Check out Wikipedia for science fiction movies by year.
Still from Indepence Day, see the clip here
I am perhaps alone in liking Battlefield Earth released in the year 2000 starring John Travolta. To hell with his Scientology, this movie has got sociopath nine-foot aliens, Harrier jump jets, a teleporter, and a dirty bomb. What’s not to like? You might think I’d get huffy about the teleporter, because it’s not bona-fide physics. But I’m relaxed about “impossible” gizmos in the movies. Mind you, I do like it when there’s some genuine science. For example I loved that periodic table stuff in Evolution starring David Duchovny in 2001. And the way the fat boys Deke and Danny knew that Head & Shoulders is chock full of selenium sulphide. Class!
What a brilliant movie Avatar was
The list goes on, we are spoilt for choice, and how time flies. It’s amazing to think that War of the Worlds starring Tom Cruise dates from 2005, almost twenty years ago. Transformers, directed by Michael Bay, was released in 2007. That movie is great stuff, but it’s older than our youngest son for Christ’s sake. Avatar was released in 2009, nearly 15 years ago. What a brilliant movie that was. But what a travesty that the Academy Awards gave best picture to The Hurt Locker out of spite.
Still from Avatar, click here for the clip
I watched Skyline again a couple of weeks back. It dates from 2010. Battle: Los Angeles starring Aaron Eckhart and Michelle Rodriguez dates from 2011. So does The Darkest Hour. You know, that’s where Emile Hirsch is in Moscow with a microwave gun battling the creepy invisible aliens who disintegrate people. Battleship was released in 2012. Like I said two articles back, that’s where Taylor Kitsch saved the world. I just love the bit where he drops the anchor and the Mighty Mo swings round and brings the 16 inch guns to bear. KABOOM! Yeah! Unfortunately Tom Cruise was too late to save the world in Oblivion in 2013, but don’t you just love the music, the drones, the Tet, and the Fuck you Sally. However he did save the world in Edge of Tomorrow released in 2014. He was aided and abetted by Emily Blunt, who played a blinder in A Quiet Place in 2018:
Still from A Quiet Place, see the clip here
But let’s not got ahead of ourselves. Let’s not forget The Host starring Saoirse Ronan in 2013. Or Guardians of the Galaxy starring Chris Pratt and many others in 2014. Not to mention Jupiter Ascending starring Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis in 2015. There’s lots more science fiction movies, such as The 5th Wave starring “Hit girl” Chloë Grace Moretz in 2016, and the scary all-star Life in 2017. Spoiler alert: everybody dies. Or Avengers: Infinity War in 2018 starring the Marvel mob. Or Vivarium in 2019 featuring Jesse Eisenberg and the lovely Imogen Poots. There have however been fewer science fiction movies in the 2020s due to Covid and the writer’s strike. One film I particularly liked was The Tomorrow War (2021) starring Chris Pratt, Yvonne Strahovski, J K Simmons, Betty Gilpin, Sam Richardson, and Edwin Hodge. It didn’t get a theatrical release because of Covid, and was bought by Amazon for $200m. They released it on Prime Video.
Time travel is impossible
Like many science fiction movies, The Tomorrow War features time travel. I know that time travel is impossible because I know that time is just a cumulative measure of motion. Nevertheless I don’t mind time travel in movies. It doesn’t spoil a movie for me at all. What does, is people doing stupid things. For example in Alien the crew are aware that there’s a murderous alien monster somewhere on the ship. So what do they do? They split up to search for it. FFS! They also stand with their backs to an open doorway. Not only that, but their weapons are total rubbish. Maritime ships have guns on board, search the internet for armed guard on ships. The Nostromo, hauling twenty million tons of crude, would certainly have a fifty cal or two tucked away somewhere. Along with some nice bright 20000 lumen torches which cost about $6.99 each.
The evil looking Martians had ray guns that turned people into skeletons
In similar vein Mars Attacks! (1996) was somewhat spoilt for me because nobody suspected that the evil looking Martians had ray guns that turned people into skeletons in no time flat. Didn’t anybody read The War of the Worlds? Didn’t anybody collect the Mars Attack cards when they were a kid? Yeah yeah I know it was comedic, but for me, a movie has to have characters I can identify with. And I’m afraid I struggle to identify with virtue-signalling assholes peddling an insane sophistry that portrays the Martians as all sweetness and light. Cop this from the Wikipedia article: “Kessler convinces Dale that the Martians’ attack in Nevada may have been the result of a cultural misunderstanding, and Dale agrees to let the Martian ambassador address Congress after the Martians issue a formal apology for their actions”. You know what happened next:
Still from Mars Attacks! See the clip here
There’s another thing that bugs me about the science fiction movies. They get the future all wrong. Have you watched Blade Runner recently? It’s Ridley Scott’s 1982 masterpiece, with fantastic music by the late great Vangelis. It features a Los Angeles that has become a smog-ridden rain-swept run-down hellhole. It’s got 200-storey mega-buildings, flying cars, space colonisation, and artificial organisms. But it is set in 2019. Yes, 2019. I’m sorry, but not even the director’s cut can fix that for me:
Still from the Blade Runner opening sequence
It’s similar for Pacific Rim (2013) directed by Guillermo del Toro. It’s a good movie, but’s it’s set in 2020, and the Kaiju have already been coming up out of “the breach” for seven years. That takes the edge off it. It breaks the suspension of disbelief which is so vital for my movie enjoyment. I don’t mean the way the breach is a wormhole at the bottom of the Pacific leading to “the anteverse”, which is obviously a variant on Roger Penrose’s antiverse. Or the way the breach somehow doesn’t leak sea water into the Kaiju home world. I know that sort of stuff is science fiction rather than science fact. I can switch off the physics when it’s popcorn time. It’s the timeline that’s the problem. We haven’t been seeing any Kaiju this past ten years. By the by, how on Earth can those diddly little helicopters carry those massive Jaegers?
I could not sleep after I watched that, in case the pod people got me
Even classic movies can have their foibles. For example, the first thing I thought when I watched John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982) was shoot that fucking dog. And why didn’t Kurt Russell put two and two together after they found the flamegrilled bifurcated humanoid remains at the Norwegian base? But hey, I shouldn’t be too picky with my forty years of hindsight. The movie was a you have got to be fucking kidding me rollercoaster which didn’t leave you time to think about any plot holes. And it was definitely a much better movie than The Thing from Another World dating from 1951. I think the same about the 1978 Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I thought it was totally credible, and as for Donald Sutherland pointing and shrieking at the end, aw man, that was great. I could not sleep after I watched that, in case the pod people got me. However Sky TV keep showing the 1956 version, and I think it was crap.
Faster-than-light-travel is impossible
I did not think The Fifth Element (1997) was crap. I thought it was brilliant, and way ahead of its time. It had flying cars, luxury spaceliners, and a bad guy you could like. Sure, it also had faster-than-light travel, which is another impossible thing. Faster-than-light travel is impossible because of the wave nature of matter. Matter cannot move faster than the light from which it is made. But The Fifth Element was a brilliant rocking and rolling spectacle, a total classic. I think Luc Besson really nailed it with that movie. Bruce Willis and friends saved the world from The Great Evil. The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing, but Bruce Willis did plenty. Thank you Bruce. Thank you too Milla Jovovich, Gary Oldman, and all the rest of you, including Lee Evans. Your finest hour. Not to mention Maïwenn, Luc Besson’s wife, who played the blue Diva Plavalaguna:
Still from The Fifth Element Diva scene
Sadly she did not stay Besson’s wife, but such is life. Life goes on. Well, not always of course. Not for people, not forever, and not for all the characters in movies like Wing Commander (1999). I just love that movie. It’s got everything. Scylla and Charybdis, admirals, Pilgrims, broadsides, skipper missiles, and Saffron Burrows. It’s like Hornblower in space with knobs on. The good guys in the Tiger Claw and other military spaceships are engaged in a war with the Kilrathi. The Kilrathi are the mean bastard aliens who “seek the complete eradication of the human race”. However Wing Commander was released “to critical and commercial failure”. How? It is a total masterpiece. Freddy Prinze Jr wins the day by transmitting the jump coordinates so that the Earth fleet can destroy the Kilrathi ships one by one as they come through the jump gate. Excellent!
People peddle fantasy physics and make out it’s the genuine article
I don’t mind those jump gates one bit. I don’t mind fantasy physics when it livens up the story. What I do mind is when people peddle fantasy physics and make out it’s the genuine article. Like in Interstellar (2014). I’ve spoken about that previously, so I will not dwell on it. Instead I will luxuriate in fond memories of The Faculty and that fantastic alien queen monster. Talking of which, there’s an alien queen in The Tomorrow War. I kid ye not, I have rented this movie about five times now. It’s only £2.79. That’s because I absolutely love it. It is right up there with Avatar. It’s got everything, including some of the worst alien monsters you ever did see. They are worse than the monsters in The Great Wall (2016). Or maybe that should be better than. Either way, if you haven’t watched The Tomorrow War, skip the next paragraph now, because I don’t want to spoil it for you.
The Tomorrow War
The opening sequence has soldier Chris Pratt falling through a war-torn sky to plunge into a swimming pool on top of a skyscraper in a ruined smoking city. The action cuts to 28 years earlier, and a swinging Christmas party where, after being turned down for his dream job in army research, he’s interacting sweetly with his daughter and wife Betty Gilpin. The World Cup Final is on TV, and it gets spectacularly interrupted by black-clad soldiers from 2051. They tell the world that the “White Spikes” are wiping us all out in the future, so they need our help. Chris Pratt gets drafted and gets a Jumplink armband nailed around his forearm. Betty Gilpin urges him to get his estranged father J K Simmons to get it off, but father and son fall out even more. Then Chris Pratt gets sent through the wormhole to fight the White Spikes in 2051. Most of his squad get killed in an all-action battle, then he meets up with his grown-up daughter played by Yvonne Strahovski. She’s an army colonel engaged in research to develop a toxin that will kill the White Spikes. She succeeds, but dies at the hands of the White Spike queen as Chris Pratt is Jumplinked back to the present day.
White Spike image © SkyDance Productions LLC and Paramount Pictures, see the Air Strike clip
His wife Betty Gilpin realises that the White Spikes didn’t arrive in 2048 like everybody thought, but had been with us for a long time. They had 1000-year-old volcanic ash under their claws because they dug themselves out of the Arctic icecap. Hence Chris Pratt gets his father’s help to fly with others to the likely location on a Russian glacial island, where they find a buried spaceship with White Spikes in hypersleep pods. As they inject the toxin the White Spikes wake up. All bar one are killed, mostly by Edwin Hodge’s sacrificial explosion. Then Chris Pratt and his father J K Simmons have to fight the White Spike queen in the snow, back to back. They kill the fucker in breath-taking fashion, then when they get home Chris Pratt welcomes his father to the bosom of his family, and they all live happily ever after. The end.
We were saved by science from The Blob
Why am I saying all this? Because the movies I’ve been talking about are to do with alien invaders. And because The Tomorrow War is a movie where we are saved by science. Like we were saved by science in The Quatermass Xperiment (1955), Quatermass 2 (1957), and Quatermass and the Pit (1967). Like we were saved by science from The Blob in 1958 and 1988, and so on. However now science and the blob are in league together. Our universities aren’t teaching physics any more. They’re full of dog-eat-dog academics who censor physics, because they’re part of a corrupt big business in cahoots with Big science. All aided and abetted by our stupid useless government, backed up by a delinquent civil service, the BBC*, Stonewall, and other enemies of free speech. Our universities aren’t educating. They’re selling expensive useless degrees that the youth of today have to have to avoid being stigmatised as second class citizens. And more importantly, they’re selling immigration. It’s now running at circa eight hundred thousand a year**. The law of supply and demand is what it is. Hence when our children grow up they can’t afford a house, so they’re less likely to have a family. Meanwhile like the Telegraph says, circa 72% of Somali immigrants live in social housing. Despite what they say, migrants do get priority, and they usually have big families. Hence like the Australian guy said to me on Coogee beach, “They will breed you out”.
Doubtless they will soon be telling us that Jewish lives matter is racist too
Our science fiction movies repeatedly warn of an alien invasion that could end our way of life, and yet the door has been opened wide. Now, as per The Tomorrow War, the “aliens” are already here. Some illegal, some legal. They are amongst us, and some of them hate us. Remember Independence Day where Bill Pullman asked the alien What is it you want us to do? The alien said Die. Think on that the next time you see the hate marchers chanting genocide whilst turning a blind eye to the atrocities of October 7th. Whilst Sadiq Khan’s two-tier police turn a blind eye to all the intimidation and violence but pepper-spray Tommy Robinson just for being there. Meanwhile a nudge unit fills our TV adverts with brown faces. Meanwhile there’s a blanket D-notice on migrant crime. Meanwhile the Guardian tells us that all lives matter is racist. Doubtless they will soon be telling us that Jewish lives matter is racist too.
There’s a storm coming
When I was bringing those yellow-jacket Gollancz books home from the library, our next-door neighbours were the Moscows. They were Jewish, and I used to play with their son Leslie. When I was buying those science fiction paperbacks, one of my friends was Lawrence Goodman. He was Jewish, and he used to play guitar. My best man’s wife is Jewish. I was instrumental in their meeting. And of course, let’s not forget that a lot of famous physicists were Jewish too. I’ve been the physics detective for over 5 years, and like I said at the beginning, the future isn’t what it used to be. Only now it’s getting worse. I am reminded of The Puppet Masters (1994). Or maybe They Live (1988). That’s where “the ruling class are aliens concealing their appearance and manipulating people to consume, breed, and conform to the status quo via subliminal messages in mass media”. That sounds about right. Our ruling class are virtue-signalling assholes peddling an insane sophistry that portrays the migrants as all sweetness and light. We now have white flight from London by people fearful that their children will get stabbed†. We now have universities that are cesspits of anti-semitism. We now have International Socialists rather than National Socialists. The Nazis were the National Socialists, so the socialists were the Nazis then. They still are, and yet they call us the Nazis. It’s like Alison Pearson said, they call us far-right racists when we object to the mass immigration we never voted for. We never voted to import the third world and become the third world. What chance physics there? Especially since it’s now feeling like the end of The Terminator: there’s a storm coming. Or maybe it’s already here. Sweden is a hotbed of murder. Dublin is a powder keg. I fear the tomorrow war has already begun.
* There’s no sign of Ofcom after Jeremy Bowen’s fake news about an Israeli air strike demolishing a hospital.
** That’s net migration. Inward migration was estimated to be 1.2 million. It’s only an estimate, Like Richard Tice said, I suspect they fiddled the numbers. Another estimate is 110 million refugees who could legitimately claim asylum in the UK. Another estimate is 780 million.
† It’s why our gardens and greenbelt are under threat.
Edit 09/12/2023: I was appalled to watch the congessional hearings this week. UPenn president Elizabeth Magill smirked as she replied to Elise Stefanik’s question: “Does calling for the genocide of Jews violate Penn’s rules or code of conduct?” Magill said it’s a context-dependent decision, and it’s not acceptable when speech crosses into conduct. I shared Stefanik’s outraged incredulity when she said “Conduct meaning committing the act of genocide?” We had the same specious nonsense from Claudine Gay the Harvard president, and from Sally Kornbluth the MIT president. These people will warble on about “safe spaces” when they censor free speech, but in their warped woke condescending minds, calling for genocide is just fine. I think Ron DeSantis nailed it when he said: “I think what this has revealed is the rot and the sickness that’s been festering inside higher education for a long time”. Magill resigned today.
Edit 10/12/2023: it looks like the issue is hotting up. See Planet gearing-up for new World War, it’s 1930s all over again in the Express, plus Telegraph articles such as Suella Braverman says hate on the streets proves multiculturalism has failed, Anti-Semitism is being normalised in British life, and Pro-Palestine marchers make ‘sickening’ comparisons between Gaza and the Holocaust. Also see Too many migrants to integrate into society, says Robert Jenrick. The former UK immigration minister said “Too many universities have fallen into the migration, rather than education business, and are marketing low grade, short courses as a back door to a life in the UK”. The corrupt smirking academics have fucked up my physics, and now they’re fucking up my country.